My mom tells me, that it is something that almost every girl goes through at some point or the other. So to list my crushes - it was my Physics professor when I was 16 and then the director of my college when I was 18, a famous dance choreographer, not to forget the endless list of stars I lust after and the list goes on. Once I went to see a "Raas-leela" conducted by a famous troupe from Mathura - and you won’t believe it - I fell in love with the person playing the character of Lord Krishna, so much to the extent that I had pictures taken with him and kept them hidden in my books. My mom once pointed out that I fall for people who are in power and yes...she was absolutely right - I have even fancied Rahul Gandhi at some point too.
I remember, my friends hooting when my Physics professor picked me up to answer a certain question - and me turning beet-red - unable to find the right words to answer the question. I doted on him so much that I fell in love with his car too and would fabricate excuses just to get glimpses of him :D
Regardless of all I mentioned above, the purpose of my post is a rather selfish one.
This time I have my heart on something and I need your help to get it. Fortunately it’s not one of my professors or the to-be-President of a country...but it’s actually a thing. It’s a bag.......I know how ridiculous this might sound, but after trying all I could rather unsuccessfully, I’ve decided to resort to make a global appeal...No...Don’t get me wrong...I don’t need you to contribute to my bag fund - all I need from you is to go - tell my mom to give me her approval.
Let me explain: I am in love and love is actually not enough to describe what I feel right now. It has reached the point of devotion and reverence (yes - I am still talking about the bag). And it’s a bit expensive and as my Mom puts it - it’s disgustingly exorbitant and not worth the hard earned money of any human being. And the thing is – as childish and immature it may sound, but I don’t do the smallest thing without my Mom's approval, so my conscience is just not permitting me to go ahead this time also.
I have tried everything I could - request/beg/emotional blackmail....
Here are a few excerpts of our conversation:
Neha: Mummy pleaseeee approve...I beg of u...
Mummy: I've said no...Now its upto u
Neha: Mummy u know, I won’t buy it unless you say yes. You know how much I respect your approval. Atleast in return of the respect...approve
Mummy : I know u respect my advice so much and that’s why I can’t let you spend that much on a ....bag. You should rather invest that money in something like jewellery...or just save it.
Neha : Some girls don’t even bother talking to their moms’ about big decisions of their life like marriage…and I am dying for your permission to just buy a purse…could you want more
Mummy : Neha… you are literally trying to extract your “yes” from my mouth…but you know how I feel about it
So on and so forth...we have been going since the last 2 months. I have almost memorized the mom-pep talk ... you have no responsibilities right now…but later you will…and you need to learn to be economical…blah…blah…blah…
But as they is love is blind…and deaf… I have turned totally deaf to my Mom’s melodramatic speeches on this issue now…but I still can’t ignore them :)
So I request all you wonderful people to appeal to my Mom…to just give me a green signal… Please write to her on http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/ and tell her how fortunate she is to have an exceptionally respectful daughter …and that she should just say... YES
I know a lot of mothers’ probably agree with my mom on this…but please don’t forget you are daughters first and try to remember the doll in the store that you were literally dying for… remember the longing? Remember the impatience?
Just a few months back when I was on my way back to Boston from New York – Now going to NY is like going to Lonavla from Bombay, if you know what I mean. The same distance, the same traffic if you miss the right hour and the same excitement. Coming back from New York is always a pain because the drive invariably gets extended because I could never leave New York at the “right” hour. Some store, some sale or something delicious to be eaten would always play a prank in holding me back. On my way back from one such amazing trip, I stopped at one of the Subways (fast food restaurant) to get a quick sub and get back on the highway as it was getting really late. Almost 35 miles and 3 exits later, I got a call from an unknown number which I completely ignored as it was so distracting and I was really in a hurry to get back home. Another 5 min passed and the seemingly persistent caller called back. Annoyed due the traffic, late hour coupled with the guilt of not hitting the route to Boston on time, I just answered the call. Apparently it was someone from AAA (roadside assistance service in USA) to inform me “Mam, your wallet and keys were found in the parking lot of Subway in Connecticut and they are holding it there for you. “Now…. Can you imagine the gamut of emotions I must have gone through in that one instance…? I couldn’t even understand that why someone from AAA would call me and how would they know and how the hell did I leave my purse … so baffled that I could hardly thank the person enough for the call. I went back almost 40 miles to the Subway to get my wallet with its contents zeroed down would sum up my life ( house keys, license, school alumni and library card , debit card, 2 credit cards, $100 forever21 store credit card , insurance cards , a $20 bill , and the lucky AAA card ,– none of these actually with my cell number on them ) Someone found my wallet lying in the parking lot and actually took the pains to call AAA and give them my AAA account number and look up my cell number and have them contact me. Now, to be honest, if I were to find a wallet in the parking lot, all I would have done is to hand it over to the concerned store. But to actually go through the wallet, find the contact information of the owner and if not easily available, search for something that could link the person… wow. I mean…that’s a completely different story. When I reached Subway, the person had already left with no name or number. I had no ways of thanking him… but if it were not for his honesty, presence of mind and concern – I would have been struggling to get my things back on track for atleast a month.
My cousin was in the Bean town from Chi town and we were chilling out at the Prudential. I was on the phone when I entered the restroom and maybe just left it there. Cousin and I left the towers and started walking towards my University (Northeastern) Almost 30 minutes later when his phone started ringing, impulse or instinct – I felt the need to check to my own cell phone. And there it was --- missing! Now the thought that atleast 1000 people use the Prudential restrooms every hour – the chances of getting my endeared iphone were so bleak. Numerous thoughts came to my mind–Apple would give me a replacement for double the original price and losing $400 from my new bag fund, the trouble I would have to go through to get my contacts, and then chiding myself for procrastinating to take a back-up on my laptop. On checking with the security desk at Prudential, apparently someone had handed over the phone to one of the janitors who further handed down to the Security office.
Now imagine if the person would have thought differently or if the janitor would have cared less and not bothered handing it over – I mean if it were not for those 2 genuine people, I would be fretting over on the phone with ATT and Apple to give me some discounts to get a replacement and not to mention the trouble to get the numbers congregated over all these years!!!
Therefore I say that there are certainly some angels out there who in the disguise of genuine souls help us in making so many things just a smooth sail for us.
Don’t you agree?
I am sure you too have some such stories to share - do tell me about them :)
-why do people try too seek cheap publicity in the name of God
-why do they wear the “Hi-are-you-from-India-too” mask and embarrass us “Indians”
I live in a private community where I consider safety and privacy as the most basic amenities. Around 1pm on a Saturday, I was freely moving around the house in my bath-robe, when someone knocked on my door- thinking it would be my room-mate, I just opened the door to see 2 strangers standing (which is not at all usual) I was obviously embarrassed a little, but thinking it must be something quick – I decided to just let them finish the work they had come for.
Apparently, they were from some Indian Association and had organized a street play to celebrate the festival of Janmashtmi (Lord Krishna’s birth)
To publicize this, they were apparently going through each name on the plates in the complex and picking out apartments with Indian names against them.
Also, the street play was scheduled to be performed in the swimming pool area of the community.
Now, I seriously doubt that the association (whoever they were) got or rather took permission to have a public event near the swimming pool. Considering a small gathering and a street-play style performance can easily be taken in the pretext of a small private party , which is “allowed “– the association people must have felt unnecessary to go through the right channels to seek permission to hold the event.
To go through every individual name listed in the complex directory, pick out the seemingly Indian ones and knock doors to publicize your event is utterly shameful. There are other inexpensive ways of publicizing your event – take print outs and ask the management of the community to distribute them along with the weekly community letter or simply drop pamphlets in the mailboxes of your short listed apartments.
You come to my apartment, knock and upon answering “ Hello – are you from India? “ and the hospitable people that we Indians are would never close the door on your face, so Inspite of being a bit awkward in my bath-robe and talking to 2 strange men, I did ask them if they would like a glass of water. And with a very brief introduction of the association they represented, I also realized that they did not even live in my community.
I was really enraged and tried hard to let that now show and rather be very polite. They started asking personal questions as in where I am originally from and then which part of Bombay (testing my patience now….) and then the main part – the association publicity….
Now I am a very big Krishna Bhakt and would really encourage such events taking place, so that we the Indian living away from the culture and tradition can get to learn and enjoy these festivals. But I would really appreciate, if rules are not broken , privacy is not breached and things are done using the right channels and hierarchy.
I just feel insecure because they could have been some impostors and using the Indian name and easily fool someone. Also I feel a little ashamed, because some people do not appreciate this uncalled visits of publicity and might go and complain to the management about this incident and tomorrow we might have the management sending us fliers that “Some Indian Association has been going around knocking doors and holding events without permission near the pool area – please BEWARE”
I don’t want that to happen … I really love my country and people and want us to be known for the good reasons…
It was almost unbelievable when I drove my “own” car for the first time. My dream of having a convertible was on wheels. Never a great driver from my Bombay days itself, I really found it hard to muster the spunk to drive on the roads of USA… the ones that are infamously known as freeways, where one is not free to drive in one’s own way (like we do in India) Driving in India was so different and so easy:)No lanes, no signals, no cops …no Rules at all:)
With trembling hands, and fists tight around the wheel, I remember driving for the first few days on the roads of Boston. I would be so cowed, that after my drive there would be marks in my palms where my nails were dug into due to fear.
And then slowly with prep, patience and practice, I “mastered” ( in my own way ) the art of driving in the States and gradually realized how easy it was.
It was not long when I became over confident about my driving, would drive with one hand and would speed beyond marked limits. Infact, as a sign of a good and confident driver, I earned my speeding ticket also. (Yes, contrary to the belief that speeding tickets are signs of rash and irresponsible driving, I truly believe that only the confident ones can actually earn them)
All my confidence was shattered after my snow-mobile accident. Inspite of having no experience of driving a snow-mobile ( not that - it is required) , I wanted to speed across the snow tracks and drive it like a pro and Bammm!!! The odometer hitting 40mph was the last thing I remember and then was the noise. I lost complete control of the gigantic vehicle and along with it flew off the track. Going down the small slope, blocked by a tree and landed with the herculean mobile on me. 40mph and the noise of my helmet hitting the tree is all I remember. It was pretty bad…but fortunately wasn’t as bad as Natasha Richardson’s accident ( which co-incidentally took place on the same day ) Well all I can say is - HELMETS DO SAVE LIVES.I As a souvenir from my accident (which was 6 months back) , I still have an injured finger which refuses to heal.
Now imagine, the confident girl speeding on the Mass-pike involved in such an accident. obviously all confidence gone down the drain. I could not drive at all for almost 3 weeks ( pain and fear combined… ). After coming back on the roads after a not very long hiatus, I thought it was my first day of driving again. I couldn’t drive beyond 50mph on highways with limits of 65mph. Irate drivers would go past me giving get-off-the-road-u-old-lady looks. Changing lanes was a “feat” that I thought I could never achieve again. And the moment I would speed and see a slope and instant fear would engulf me, a fear of the road ending into infinity. These were all baseless but justified fears. My snow-mobile incident had left a deep dark scar in my mind.
And then I realized, I could not go on like this. I couldn’t wake up 30 min earlier than I usually do, to reach my office in time, I couldn’t bear driving in the 3rd lane (slow lane) always. I couldn’t bear people speculating that the driver in the red car is definitely a girl.
So slowly and steadily, with determination at heart, I laid my foot on the gas and started to get back to the pace that I define. I realized I wanted people behind me and on the next lanes to think of me as a reckless driver rather than some bloody first-timer. I realized the only way I can enjoy this again is by beating my fear at this game.
So, with miles and miles driven and a strong mind to get back on the tracks, I conquered this fear (yes... for the second time) …and I am so proud of myself:)
We all have our own definitions for friendship and each one looks for something special, something unique in the person - one calls FRIEND.
Many proverbs and quotations have tried to capture the meaning of this term, each falling short of something that could do justice to it.
Friendship to me is the essence in any relationship. I think if a person can’t be a friend, any other relation will be onus. Be in a parent-child, amongst siblings, husband-wife … no relationship can survive without having a strong foundation laid on friendship.
I don’t need to be with or talk to a person 24/7 to call him a friend. But, the feeling that at any hour, I have someone to lean on to is what matters. Someone I can talk like I am talking to myself ( ??? yes I do talk to myself) and someone with whom I don’t have to beguile myself.
No one could ever know me; no one could ever see me.
Seems like you're the only one who knows what it's like to be me.
Someone to face the day with, make it through all the rest with,
Someone I'll always laugh with, even at my worst, I'm best with you.
Someone with whom I don’t have to think before framing my words and after gazillion hours of conversation there is still no sign of “what else?”
You just never fall short of talks when with a friend. That’s one of my most favorite things in friendship. Just go on and on, with no rhyme or rhythm in the conversation and yet they seem meaningful.
Today, I get very nostalgic, because I really miss a few friends that I made while walking along with on my journey till here. Some I lost to time, some to distance, some to busy schedules and some to other relations. Sometimes, when friendship starts bordering on the fringes of other relationships, it becomes a liability. And some people opt to come out of it - Its not every body’s clichéd cup of tea to handle friendship in the right manner. Just last week, I was having an argument with a very close friend about whether you can have someone closer to call a friend other than your spouse/partner. I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and I am sure everyone will have his/her own standing and opinion.
Now it’s a completely different story when I also agree on -
Everyone has a best friend during each stage of life only lucky ones have the same friend in all stages of life..
When relationships lack friendship, they become obligations and have to be dragged on. But when a relationship is founded on and sheered on by friendship – it’s just the perfectly-foolproof-ideal way you are on !!!
Remember – it’s the soul of the relationship.
Happy Friendships Day to all my blog buddies – (little did I know that I would find so many people willing to share benches with me in this blogger’s park :))
Happy Friendships Day everyone… Mwuuuah :)
I know some people who just dread getting tagged and fulfill this duty just like our ministers attend the parliament sessions… aka formality …
However, I am totally the opposite. I luuuurvvve talking about myself...Infact as one of the famous Hindi movie dialogues: “I am my favorite person” So shamelessly and audaciously, here I go blarrring about myself, whilst all of you dearies have to read through it…because … (I’d say you rather read this instead of me having to blow some more trumpets about myself)
Four places you have lived:
1)Bombay: Ae dil hai mushkil jeena yahan…zara hatke…zara bachke…yeh hai Bombay meri jaaan :) for me, the whole country can be summed up into Bombay and I feel this humongous pride to be a Bombay-ite.
When people ask me what religion/caste I belong to – it’s so confusing to understand myself that I just choose to tell’em – I am a Bombay-ite :)
That’s what this city is. Be here for 21 …or 2…or 1 year and it becomes your religion. You cannot be separated from it ever…never ever.
The city that never sleeps – the city that provides exudes warmth in every nook and corner. It’s the city that bounces back to life within 24 hours after bomb-blasts, terrorist attacks and heavy floods. It that city where even a stranger on the road will leave his most important appointment to witness your fight with another stranger and not move until he has all the details. And it is this stranger who will leave everything to push your car that has been stuck in a ditch. I can talk so much about Bombay – umm…matter enough for one single post :)
2)Boston: This is where I live now, where I actually grew. Coming away from the shell and shelter of home, actually learning to be myself, gaining independence – “standing on my feet” ( hahaha…too clichéd…isn’t it?)
Its here that I earned my first paycheck. Lived with people other than family for the first time, had mice as room-mates for 3 years (yes… eeekss…we had rats in our student apartments :))
A lot more feats achieved and working towards more in this beautiful city of beans and brains (yeah… around 200 colleges in Boston alone)
3)Delhi: The city where I was born. The place I associate my summer-vacations with, cousins, shopping, eating, meeting cousins and having a lotttt of fun with.
4)Pratapgarh: A small village in the interiors of Rajasthan that I proudly call my native place. Although, I no longer have close family there, we visit Pratapgarh very often for the temples and the very beautiful places in this popularly cultural state of India. The palaces, the temples, the occasional tribal dances, the street vendors with lovely pieces of jewellery and ethnic dresses and yaaaa…not to forget the “desi-ghee” dripping meals :)
Four T.V shows you love (d) to watch
1)Sex and the City: this one tops my list. I love this show because Big and Carrie are one of my favorite’s couples ever. And also for the fact that this show is all about Fashion – I live for it :)
2)F.R.I.E.N.D.S: This one I must have seen each episode of every season like 3 times and more. Infact I sync my work-out timing with Friends, else end up having gloomy, unmotivated workouts. And ya, Ross and Rachel… I love’em too :)
3)Koffee with Karan: This is a celebrity talk show hosted by one of my favorite directors. More than for the movie he makes, I like Karan Johar for the way he talks (diction, body language …) and what he talks. And I so love to hear the celebrity rendezvous….all the gossip, personal secrets revelations et al.
5)Lost: There was a time when I would be awake till 4 am and watch back-back episodes. Now with the deteriorating script, I still love to watch it for Sawyer.
Four places you have been on vacation
1)San Francisco: That’s my 2nd favorite city in the world after Bombay. There’s something mysterious and hypnotic about the weather, the 70 degree roads, the crooked street, the stores in downtown, the golden gate bridge….its a magical place :)
2)Las Vegas: what happens in Vegas…stays in Vegas :) you have to go there to experience it ;)
3)Orlando: did this trip with parents and bro… had sooo much fun. Total fun-packed place
4)Haridwar: This religious town in the northern part of India stays very close to my heart. The serenity of this place is something I shall never forget and makes me want to visit again an again
Four of your favorite foods
1)Things starting with “C”: Chocolates, cakes, chaat… A true Bombay-ite: I have a special place in my heart for pani-puri. Nothing so unhygienic and yet utterly delicious…
2)Pav Bhaji: Another Bombay blessing to the world!!! lovvvvve it
3)Italian cuisine: Some so full of cheese and calories … how can I not like . Served with a glass of red-wine and I am happppy
4)Gola: this crushed-ice candy fitted into a wooden-stick and dipped in flavored syrups… slurp…slrup...slrup :)
Four websites you visit daily
1)www.gmail.com : atleast once in every 10 min
2)www.timesofindia.indiatimes.com : mainly for the entertainment and gossip in Bombay times and even more entertainment in the political drama
3)www.cnn.com : for the serious more important news
4)www.highheelconfidentail.com: ahhh – my stress buster
Four places you would rather be
There’s just one where I wanna be
ON the top of everything I do :):):)
Four things you hope to do before you die
Now that’s a tough one … :)
Itna socha nahi hai …. And the ones that I’ve though about…ummm tooo personal
Sorry…. Skipping this one
Four novels you wish you were reading for the first time
1)Prodigal daughter – Jeffrey Archer: the zeal and fervor of a young girl and the relationship with the governess. I can read the book 100 times for these two things alone.
2)Doctors – Erich Segal: The story of two friends who are meant to have a deeper relationship than that.
Actually besides these 2, I’d rather read something new each time. So many books and so little time :)
Four Movies You Can See Over and Over
1)Pardes : hahahha…I know people going ewwww for this cheesy movie…but I a total sucker for this one :)
3)Sex and the city ( movie)
4)Dilwale Dulhaniya le jayenge : all time favorite
Now 4 people whom I wanna tag:
Aaaaa… I am not gonna impose this on anyone…and most importantly – my Mom tagged all the people I would have wanted to :)
So please feel free to take this cue for a new post and let us know more about your lovely self :)
That we left behind
When we walked hand in hand
Remain crisp in my mind
Wasn’t it just yesterday?
That you held me strong
On life’s cross-way
And guided me all along
Standing ahead, so that I don’t falter
And behind, to catch me when I fall
Next to me, so that I am not alone
Dint I just have it all
You remain within me
Although we don’t see each other
This bond is until infinity
And we are forever ...
I tried to save the footprints
When we were not apart
Now I let the waves wash them
They are safe in my heart
(This one was supposed to be posted on father’s day …but I am 2 weeks late)
A father-daughter relation is the least talked about. We all celebrate mother’s day with greatest grandeur and talk about how much we love our moms as if mentioning that ,is a part of our system. But, it is not so often that we read about someone celebrating father’s day with pomp or even less , casually talking about it.
Why is it that this is the most-least hyped relation of all, when actually it’s the most beautiful and inexplicably exceptional one in the world.
What is it that makes this father-daughter relationship so unique… so special? I am not trying to analyze it and neither do I have any answer to this one. It’s just that on every occasion of a father talking about his girl or a girl talking about her father, I am taken into a moment full of smiles.
There is this bond between a father and his daughter that is so mysterious…so unfathomable…so eternal..
I know someone at work, who in the midst of a meeting, answered a call, which is very unlikely of him. Apparently it was the store calling to confirm something he had ordered for his daughter. After attending to the call, he apologized to the room full of people, saying that “it’s for my daughter – that’s my main job. If this gets delayed, I don’t go home and don’t get to come to office too “
Awwww… isn’t that cute :)
There’s this colleague of mine - who means just business all the time. We were out on a team lunch and someone mentioned a dance recital. He immediately joined the conversation, because his little girl just had one recital. The moment we reached office, he called us to his office to show a dance video of his daughter. His face was lit with pride that I had not even witnessed even when he spoke about his patents.
Even a big celebrity magazine, just ran a whole issue on papas and their princesses.
Talking about myself, I cannot even start to explain the relation I share with papa. He is my idol, my pillar. His presence gives me confidence so much so that for every tough exam, papa has to come to drop me - has to cancel the most important court case.
It’s the faith that when papa is around, nothing can go wrong :)Touchwood!!!
My professor once told me that in Italian they have a very famous saying which means that “the father is the last wall between the daughter and the world” How true is that?
Protecting his precious baby from the world whom he perceives as an enemy when it comes to her, saving her from every small scratch that she might get , giving up pleasures that please him most for her. He’d do everything possible to make his daughter smile.
I know all this, because I see papa doing it everyday for me.
The funniest and the weirdest thing is that we go 100 times and tell momma how much we love her, but very rarely share this with papa. And the same is true for him too. How many times does he express it in words?
Don’t they say: like-father-like-daughter? :)
In my farewell party (for Boston), papa said that “we (papa and I) share a secret love affair”.
Can anything be more appropriate? :)
Love you papa…muahhh :)
Many a times, I have heard people complaining that they have been targets of racism in a foreign country. And each time I heard stories like these, I was nothing but confused, because I have been in the United States of America from the last 4 years and I don't have a single moment of regret. Never ever in the university that I attended, the places I worked at, or the current office that I am now - I have seen even a fraction of bias because I am a foreigner. Infact the experience has been just too good, totally un-blotched.
However, today at my gym, someone made me realize that racism does exists and it does not have to exist at the corporate or executive level, but even in the most mundane activities, one can be targeted. I see this lady everyday at the gym and in my usual manner (irrespective of whether I know a person or not, I without fail give a smile and sometimes to the extent of leaving the opposite person amused) Anyways, this lady (L) – a complete stranger and I, have been co-incidentally hitting the gym at the same time since the last 6 months and invariably everyday she doesn't not fail to knowingly ignore me. I don't mind if my smile is not returned and also that she would show no sign of recognition everyday is also excusable. I always gave her the benefit of doubt (as taught to me by my friend).But today, when I entered the gym, L was on one of the steppers and the TV was on. She had her iPod on and was gazing into the infinity obviously not watching the TV. I signaled to her asking her if I could change the channel - she took-off her ear-phones and looked at me and pretended to not understand. So I again politely asked her, if I could change the channel and then... she gave me one of the most derisive looks ever and very insolently replied - "No... I am watching it". Even if she wasn't watching it and refused to me, it would have been ok. But after sometime, a fellow-country man walked up to her and signaled at the TV. Apparently she had no problem with that anymore and very willingly handed the remote to him. Now what should I call it?
I am obviously hurt because I have never been rude to her and I can’t think of anything that I have could have ever done to set her off against me. May be I am getting a little extra sensitive here, but now that I think of her coldness towards me, I can put two and two together.
What is happening in Australia is something I totally condemn. If you are unable to give equal respect and acceptance to someone not from your country, then do not give the permission to enter in the first place. In my opinion one of the overbearing cause for these racist attacks, is the social, economic and intellectual affluence of the Indian students abroad, which brings out the inferiority complex in such violent manners.
On the same lines, the curse of racism is not only experienced by foreigners...but how different is India from within when it comes to open acceptance of people from different races? Is everyone getting everything that the democracy claims to be?
Inspite of being One-Democratic-Secular country – pedestrian jobs, college seats, higher posts are all blemished with the bias towards race.
What has happened to the so-called communal tolerance?
Is the concept of “One-World" just a fashion statement?
Is the sense of morality and equality completely non-existent?
The differences made on the basis of color, language, race, nationality, caste, sub-castes are prevalent in some form and some place almost everywhere. Instead of doing anything about it – the media makes the most buck out of this bang and we are silent observers, passive victims or mere loud noise-makers.
Neither of this helps. I am uncertain as to what to do about this, but I am sure to find out.
I never quite identified with it, considering I am so possessive about my things, that “never hold on” was never an option.
But, just last week did I witness this and as much as I don’t want, I believe in it now. I won’t take any names, but this story is about a friend whom I shall replace with myself and narrate. Ok ?
All this started when I was all excited to meet this guy from school on a date. One day he emailed me that he’s going to be in town and if I would care to meet him over coffee. Do I care? Oh hell, yes! I do and I do so much to the extent that I go to buy a new dress including a very expensive, infact exorbitantly steep jacket to don with it.
He did comment on how good I looked, especially how pretty my jacket was, but it turned out that it was just an insouciant meet, no string attached kinda thing. As disappointed as I was, I realized spending all that moolah over that stupid jacket made no sense. So, I just went to the store and returned that “alleged” no-help jacket back to the store. (One good thing in the States – you can return anything anytime if you have the receipt)
Two Months later …
The boy and the date were history. I started to fall for this another guy, who suddenly one evening called me up and invited me for lunch the very next day.
Very next day??? Isn’t that’s too short of a notice – I don’t even have anything to wear for the date. Next day, I get up and rush to the mall to get ready for my date (as you see, I buy something new for every occasion). I scoured all stores but just nothing that appealed. Reluctantly, I walked to my jacket store and saw the same styled jacket which I had taken a few weeks back. The fact that it atleast looked pretty and fit me so well last time, I decided to try it. Got one for my size and off for my date :)
This guy too commented on my sexy jacket, but umm – no sparks flew during the lunch and I realized he’s just not my types. So I decided to return the jacket yet again. While checking the pockets before finally packing it off – guess what I found ….
The receipt of the coffee that I had had 2 months back !!!
Consider it - the same design and the right size were still in the store after two months and inspite of having a zillion options to choose from, I chose this one again… and not only the same style, the same size… but the same exact piece.
Whoaaa… looks like neither of the two guys were made for me …but the jacket… definitely was. Well this time, I shall not let it go :)
Isn’t that definitely “made for each other “ . What say you ?
Have any “made for each other” stories to share?
The reason for my rage is the audience of the show.
At a comparably non-entertaining performance, they interrupt the performance by a buzzer in between or by shouts of boos or with a roiled applause.
Many a times, in college events, I have seen such immature and brazen behavior oozing out of such tearaways. Impetuous acts such as turning backs to the stage and clapping – or by indecent warbling at the performer are often witnessed at such events.
If it is something that does not interest them then why don’t they understand the alternative of just ignoring it or simply waiting for it to end? It’s understandable that every form of act happening in the show or the stage may not be something you might be interested in – but its not that the show is going to go on for eons. Aren’t they patient enough to bear something for a few seconds than to hoot and shoo someone away?
Does this behavior make them look “cool”?
Do they even realize what it takes to step up that stage, there’s so much involved in a small act - mettle to face the crowd, hours of practice, fear of not-being accepted, jitters about losing, anxiety, victory over stage fright … and yet with shaky legs and high spirits a performer musters enough courage to step up…and the audience, blows away all that in just one unrestrained act.
Do they realize what it could do to the self-confidence of the person on stage that the person might not be able to stand up again for the fear of such a reaction? If you are not capable of stepping up on the stage, atleast do what you are supposed to do correctly - be a good audience.
It is as crucial as the performance.
On a much lighter and immensely proud note – I want to congratulate Mummy darling for winning the “Best Blog of the day” award. I think she righteously deserves it and more than anything this is motivation for momma to keep her blog active and for us to to get more and more good reads.
Congrats mumma… Mwuaah !!!
On a constructive note - today had my tryst with the “Sanders” and so in awe with the tools available for cutting, shaping, smoothing wood. Working on a small project for my room – will talk about it more when done :)
As the night unfolds
In these waves of darkness
A hundred stories untold
Beyond the flowing brook
I see a silhouette dance
Why should I look-when it can’t be you?
And yet I steal a glance
Far from my view, the moon shines bright
And yet deep down there ain't any light
Within me so much gloom
Eyes searching for my shiny armored knight
In the deepest and darkest time
You have always been mine
Then why today?
You choose to leave me,
And let the loneliness shine
You dint teach me to be alone
And now I stand here on my own
Waiting in the ever pouring rain
Wanting to wash away my pain
The long wait when finally paid
You came through that door, I let out a sigh
Touched my face and gave that smile
And turned around…for the final good-bye?
My eyes still on that door
With that touch, my life started to soar
Your image I shall never forget
I lived my life in that very moment!!!
We have done a myriad of ingenious exercises so far in the course of the class…but there’s this one… so close to my heart…I am compelled to write about it. This one not only opened the knowledge doors to the art of controlled behavior and creating story from still poses, but touched my soul in an inexplicable way and also gushed a thousand feelings at the same time.
My very wonderful teacher has christened it as “the puppet and the puppeteer exercise” – where each one gets a chance to be the puppet and the puppeteer.
The puppeteer’s task is to bring their puppets to life, every single part to life and modeling the puppets in such a way so as to create a story.
When the puppet, you are a piece of clay with no brain, no imagination of your own. Just a still body for your puppeteer to model. As a puppet you have no sense of what next, no thought to be acted upon. Just be still and let your puppeteer move, carve, model you… every part of your body is in control of the puppeteer. Every finger…every toe…body posture...facial expression!!
The task of the puppeteer is more complex as it involves a lot of imagination, pliancy and creativity. Even though it has a nice ring to it and sounds cool – the result was no surprise when the teacher surveyed on which of the two parts was more liked.
Think about it – which one would you like?
Being the puppet won the round !!!
Each day, each moment we are in a roller coaster of thoughts, fighting to keep up with the competition, trying to be creative in thoughts, actions, projects…every place that we find ourselves in. So a simple break from the routine, to just be and relax its nothing but a much delightful break. And the outcome is anyways something so beautiful you’re your being a part of that creation is satisfying anyways.
Besides the chance to do nothing and just enjoy the exercise – there was something else I experienced. With soft music in the background ,eyes closed and the realization that you being molded into some beautiful creation has such positive vibes to it, that I (don’t know how to say it), but felt an inner connection with myself. Such calmness on the outside and so many visions unseen, so many echoes rising from inside - something that I haven’t experienced in a long time and it almost brought tears to my eyes.
I’d just say - try this exercise with your friends, siblings, family – put on each role (of the puppet and the puppeteer) and experience this wonderful joy ride.
So again coming back to my last week lunch - we were just talking about some of our incidents - good...bad...ugly... and it struck to me that there a few things - big and small that I've done and cant believe that I actually did them.
So here goes my quick list of five...with no specific order of preference..or asininity.. or smartness...
1) Last week after coming out of the shower, I realized , there was a crust of nail polish that was peeling off my nails which have been shouting for a manicure from the last month .(Also note here, that I have a habit of applying a delicious(lavender) toner after a face wash )So I decided to cater to it and took a cotton-ball and opened my acetone(nail-polish remover) bottle. The toner thing is so etched into my system, that mechanically, I dabbed the cotton ball dripping with acetone on my face. And ouchhhh... it hurts..it stings...it burns...I screamed with pain...when the acetone touched the arrant pimple on my chin...
and to punish me for my lack of attention... i still have an ugly red scar on my chin that sits there to tell the story of my stupidity :(
2) today morning... quick and un-deemed one : was talking on the phone with mom- getting into the car - one leg inside and the other dangling out - i closed the door - totally unconscious and oblivious - bearing the brunt of unsuccessful effort of multitasking ... and now trying to hide a big purple-black clot on my knee
3) now this one's one of my favorites... and its really hard to believe that (let alone me...be it anyone ) could have the audacity to do this...
Its during one of my engineering exams...this paper was one of the toughest i have ever written.. so tough that i remember reading the paper atleast 10 times, in hope to find a question that I could remotely answer...the students sitting in the first few seats had actually started discussing the question ( the examiner dint seem to mind it )...but he was standing just next to me ( last row...last bench...so that he could properly supervise the class? )... towards the end of the exam i was so overcome with paranoia...that I very innocently told the examiner " sir...can I please copy the last question"
i think..he couldn't believe it either....hahaha
4) now i have acrophobia... and moreover...i cant cant cant sit in rides that go up just for that funny feeling in your stomach...but with a lot of pushing and confidence building... i have a feather in my hat - I have let myself go through the amazing experience of paragliding. Although I kept my eyes closed throughout the flight :) - i have to admit that i absolutely loved it... and cant promise if I can do it ever again or not !!!
5) and this one... i cannot stop talking about...sometimes even in the same conversation i find myself saying this... ...... .... i have a tattoo.. no no no... i have twoooo !!!
This one finds a place in my this list because... I am so so so so scared of needles that once when I had to take an anesthesia injection for a small incision in my foot - the doctor had to call the shrink on duty - because I was apparently a case of "serious-needle-phobia".
When I decided that I wanted one( that was a sudden decision- got up - decided i "had" to have one )...I was as scared as I was excited.. but with a lot of convincing from Amit and watching him go through it first ... I finally gathered the grit to get those needles pierce through my dermis.
For the second one... I was equally scared as I was for my first one...again A comes into the picture...convinced me how beautiful my first one looked...and reminded me how much I wanted this one... and I gotttt it :)
By the way... did I mention - I have two tattoos ;)
If I write about our relation, I could never do justice to it.
She has been a part of everything I have done in my life. Taking me to nursery school and standing, waiting outside for me, so I am not alone in the new environment. One of my most cherished experiences is Mummy coaching me for my elocution competition…for the “haan maa yehi kahahi” ( yes Mother! That’s the story ). In sync, both of us would say each line and mummy teaching me to tug my dress and give that am, extra stress on which word. Each exam, each competition, I owe my winning to mummy and she taught me to take the defeats in my stride too. She would gouge the old-paper mart to collect the slightest information for my history projects. For each fancy dress competition, she would scour each shop to get the best dress.
When in college, my mom became my best friend ( and she still is ) . There is no better shopping partner than my mom. She could spend all day with me looking for the dress I want and come back again the next day. Listening with interest about my crushes and all gossips about people she doesn’t even know or will ever meet.
Mummy has spent sleepless nights with me being awake when I study for an exam and with equal anxiety has waited for the results. She cries with me when I cry and feels happier than me, when I am happy.
I totally agree that “Because God could not be everywhere – He made the Mother”
Infact , I think it’s even a better deal…because I know my Mom is there with me all the time. I know I can call her at any time of the day or night… and just talk to her…be it about nothing. The very fact that “Mummy is there” is more support for me than anything. One single urgent call from me…and mummy would run from end of the house to another …and now I know…she will do the same from end of the world to the other.
We are worse than a couple having a relationship on the rocks. We fight and break-up every day and without making up the next day – we are gossiping about the neighbors or discussing about the new dress on sale.I know at times I am very rude to momma, but she doesn’t mind it…and doesn’t want me to go blah-blah over the justifying act. She believes in and has taught me too – that you don’t need justify to or expect justification from the person you love.
She has faith in me, even when I have given up. She encourages me to aim for the stars and thinks of me as the best-in-everything person :) Mummy….
She is my friend….confidant…my guide…my bridge…my confidence…my cushion to fall back on… my gossip girl…my shopping partner… my book club… my idol…see I could go on and on if I start to talk about my mother.
I have inherited so much from her –how could I not…I am a part of her .I know, her life revolves around her two children and hubby…and she has sacrificed so much – never wanting anything in return. I don’t know what I could be without my Mom. I can’t ever thank her as it will be too low and lose all meaning…. but Mummy, I just want you to know that all times, every moment, I love you and you mean everything to me. You are my world.
It’ll be a lie – if I say that I pray for everyone to get a mom like my mom. Because I want it to be the only unique relation in the world…the most precious …the most beautiful.
When I walked in that room, my mind was inundated with a gamut of emotions. So much apprehension, nervousness and ya that accent-complex! Being the only one of color (no I am not being racist or color-prejudiced), but it would have been solacing to see someone with a remotely similar accent or rather a different one than everyone else.
But anyways, one of the panoramas of emotion that I was experiencing was excitement- because I have always wanted to do this. Infact, when I came out of my mother’s womb, I was marinated with this and each thing I do/speak/think has a flavor of this in it. And that spice is ACTING.
Everyone who has been even in a seconds-contact with me can corroborate for me saying that ACTING is me. I am no pro-no professional-no star-no actor. Having being tagged as “Nautanki” by almost everyone, it can be safely concluded that every bone, muscle and nerve in my body loves to act.
By acting, I do not mean being pretentious…it’s just the dramatic and histrionic way of how I love to deliver. Be it some hand gesture, or facial expression or even a voice-modulation. Until and unless, there is some form of thesp involved, I feel insatiated about my message.
This acting class is my getaway from reality to fantasy and therefore into the reality of my being. Each exercise done,is a bundle of teachings and a profusion of intricacies of this wonderful art. Recreating your own behavior or recreating the story of a second person, reacting on instinct or the expanding and contracting of self – there’s so much to learn from each of these exercises.
I have to mention that the role of the teacher in every aspect of your learning stage is so important. My very wonderful teacher - Ms.Susan, can so adroitly make us so effortlessly do the concentration exercises and with equal ease, get the create the story ones. I have learned a new outlook on introducing ourselves as a means of transferring energy to one-another and it seems amazing.
There is so much to look forward in this class, that it will be a sin if I complain about the stress of hunting for an available parking spot in downtown Boston. I am so glad that I am doing something that I have always wanted to learn and do.
We get busy with work, earning money, fulfilling duties, shouldering responsibilities – and most of the time, our passions are sent on a back burner. It is necessary that we explore our inner-selves and do those things along with the mandatory ones – because they complete us. I feel complete after performing at an exercise in class , or even by melodramatically enacting a recent incident.
Its never too late to explore the passions within us and bring them to the fore-front.
It definitely makes a difference !!!
Dr.Kalam,Ex-President of India, graced the opening session of the three-day Northeastern University green energy conference. An interactive session after the inauguration was coordinated by the Indian Students Association at Northeastern University.
Running late from work, I regrettably missed the opening speech of the session. But was in time when he opened the ground for questions. Student after student rose to ask causal, petty, genuine, well researched questions and Dr.Kalam imperturbably heard and adroitly answered them.
A person of such stature and with such an aura around him exuded an electrifying sense of humor. There was an overpowering intellectual presence that he brought to the room. Jokingly scoring the answer-seekers on their interactions and politely asking each one not to ask more than one question,he received an applause on almost every word he uttered.
When someone asked him to give one piece of advice to students scouring from India and coming the United States to attain further education – prompt came the reply – “Attain knowledge, not any knowledge, but “good knowledge” and instead of becoming “job seekers” – become “job generators”.
Talking at length about the importance of education, the importance of parents and teachers in our lives, Dr.Kalam also spoke about his 2020 vision and tersely commented on the political scenario of the county.
Needless to say, that he emanated knowledge, experience, and savoir-faire - yet a staggering level of modesty, that it was honor even to be in the same room as him.
He concluded the session by stressing on the need to be a good citizen, no matter what nationality you belong to and what country you are currently living in. Striking a conversation with his audience, he made us echo one of his golden teachings:
“Where there is righteousness in the heart
There is beauty in the character.
When there is beauty in the character,
there is harmony in the home.
When there is harmony in the home.
There is an order in the nation.
When there is order in the nation,
There is peace in the world.”
He was swarmed with people seeking his autograph and the tall ones, taking advantage of their height, were able to hand over their scraps right into in his hands. Being short , I could not avail that, so in lieu called out to him – “Sir, I am short “ – he instantaneously acknowledged me, took my book and graciously signed it :)
It is very difficult for me to remember long names, but after my short rendezvous with Dr.Kalam, Avul Pakir Jainulabdeen Abdul Kalam is name that I shall always remember and shall continue to admire the legend.
Just a few weeks back, when a friend emailed me song the - Shopping for labels by Fergie , I instantly fell in love with it.
Shopping for labels, shopping for love,
Manolo and Louis, it’s all I’m thinking of,
Shopping for labels, shopping for love,
Manolo and Louis, it’s all I’m thinking of,
How can someone not adore something that is all about labels and love?
Yesterday ,a friend exuberantly flaunted her new Louis Vuitton bag, I felt a pang of jealousy. I have something that’s almost half the size of her bag and so longed to get something like hers.
But … when she mentioned, it’s her discovery from the street vendors of the New York - I got to thinking -
How can something phony be bliss?
I'd rather be content with my small but genuine purse.
There is comfort,happiness, an inner satisfaction on owning something genuine.
Doesn't the same hold true for relationships too. Pure and honest relationships have their own freshness and glory. There is no pretense, no burden, no liabilities – just straightforward feelings and their portrayal.
There are so many plastic relations we keep up to every day in our lives.
So many belonging to the "have-to-maintain" category that we stand-by everyday! If we settle down for untrue relations, our lives will start becoming bland.
Shouldn’t we just be true to ourselves and embrace the true ones too? Is the society so demanding that we have to give in to these banal things? Can’t we be just complacent with what’s unadulterated?
Anyways , To each, his own!
Shop for labels or look for true relations.
Be happy with the fake make or be a part of a pretentious relationship.
I’d just say… carry your own label.
I can’t even get close to counting the number of times I have pushed temptation somewhere inside me. Be it as trivial as an allurement of opening a surprise package or as sinful as copying in an exam paper.
A few of the instances that come to my mind:
-to devour an ice-cream when I am on my 10081st (most-likely) unsuccessful diet plan
-to abuse someone in the face when my ears hear something squalid
-to tell someone to shut that boasting mouth on hearing some self-blown trumpets
-to call someone just for support in times when I am supposed to stand on my own
-to watch that one episode of friends when I am working towards an assignment deadline
-to make a/few phone calls to swank off my new designer sunglasses
-to cheat someone for my worldly happiness
But such are the ones that I have resisted with difficulty or ease.
What about the ones, we just helplessly and hopelessly give into?
Many such cases are thrown in our direction at every point on life. What do we do about those?
Rely mostly on our impulse to react to those? And yet there are those times, when a lot of rationalization goes into reaction.
Most of the time, giving in to temptation is something we regret later.
(Don’t get me wrong, there have been a few times when giving in to temptation is the best thing I’ve ever done. Like it’s said - Temptation is like a knife that may either cut the meat or the throat of a man; it may be his food or his poison, his exercise or his destruction)
A misspoken thought, a copied answer, a relished desert – somewhere deep down bother the conscious for a long time. Many have taught, many have preached and there are many who have practiced the art of victory over temptation.
Having said all that, I just don’t seem to get the art right. When I am tempted, I have a split personality. One part of me wants to do it and one wants to refrain. No matter what the cause is, no matter how small or big, no matter how harmful or paltry – it is always a difficult decision to take and always a double edged sword. Mark Twain said - “I deal with temptation by yielding to it” and boyyy… I am totally comfortable with this!!! :)
Don't be a coward - face that temptation !!!
The reason I chose this name is because I will be inhaling and exhaling a lot of thoughts, love, gratitude, information and ofcourse my own expert comments (which are inevitable).
Many a times I have decided to start my own blog, but more often than not, frivolous and ofcourse at times, intelligent thoughts capture my mind and I lose track of what I wanted to blog about.
There have been times, when I have penned down thoughts but decided against posting them to my blog, which I created eons ago. Yes, that’s true, my blog has been lying somewhere in the cyber universe and never has been adorned with a post till date.
But, today, as fortunate we both are, me and my blog, I gift both of us of this wonderful joy of “expression”.
Also, I shall make promise to both of us (me and my blog) that this phrase “I am sorry for not blogging in so long”, is something that we shall not have to face !!
(Read as - a few exceptions here and there, can squeeze in)
Because, I believe that “breathing and expressing” go hand in hand.